Saturday, November 7, 2009

I Need a Wife... or Something

I've mentioned this before, but I could sure use a wife. Especially in this, the busy season.

I work in the agricultural field. My hubs and I also farm (grain crops only, no livestock). In the fall I am busier than... well, you fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind for horrifically busy.


I now have extra bodies living in my house. Bodies that need to be fed at scheduled times. The boy is used to eating at, say, 6 o'clock or there abouts. Since my children are grown and gone (well, kinda) my hubs and I have gotten used to being very flexible about dinner time. We eat when it works. If he is in the field, he may not get home until 8, 9 or even sometimes 10 o'clock. If it gets too late for me and I get light-headed and need to eat, I'll go ahead and eat. If it is something I've prepared, say, a casserole, then I'll save the rest for him and heat it up when he gets home. Otherwise, if I can wait, I'll wait for him and we'll eat then. If it is something that needs to be eaten right away, I won't make it on a night when I think there is a chance he'll be late. If it is something fast, say, grilling a steak, then I'll just wait until he gets home to fix it while he's in the shower. Get the idea?


When my daughter and the boy moved home and I told her that we were very irregular in our eating patterns and that she should just go ahead and cook and either keep warm the leftovers and we'd eat them as we got around to it, or to just eat what they wanted and we'd fix something when we got home. I know money has been tight for her, so I've not said anything as the grocery bill has tripled and things magically appear on the list that I've not even touched (i.e. cookies).


As of yesterday (about three days ago as I write this) I have yet to see her take the initiative on dinner. I got home last night at 5:30 after leaving the house at 6 a.m. to go to work. I have been working all day. Hubs has been working. All day. Daughter? Has been... doing...? All. Day.


I was pissed. I got home and there wasn't meat thawing to cook, nothing on the stove, not a glimmer of an intent to cook. None. I was tired and really angry. I mentioned perhaps she could get out a carton of homemade spaghetti sauce from the freezer and thaw it and make spaghetti for supper. I heard her banging around as I was getting the dogs out and I happened to hear Hubs say something to her about cooking. Her comment? "I don't like to cook". I like his response... "You like to EAT don't you?"


I mean, seriously. I'm doing all the grocery shopping, paying for it, etc., and she is living at our house free. 100% FREE. You would think maybe she would want to pitch in a bit? Yes, she has been doing the dishes every night (we have a dishwasher... she's never had one. Hardship? I think not.) I have thanked her for that and told her I appreciate it. But really? I just want her to take care of her own child and get dinner around for him and so on and so forth. Is that too much to ask?


On a last note... this morning Hubs woke me up banging around the house at 4:30. (Stupid time change still has us screwed up). He came into the bedroom and wanted to know if I had a key to the house. WTF? Uh, yes, I do... why? Because someone had locked the doors (inside and one to the garage) to his bathroom... and no one was in there. Now, I suspect it was the boy, but really? Why would you DO that? Not a good way to start the morning. Thank goodness the key worked, as we hadn't ever tried it on that door before...


This whole having people living with us may be the death of me yet...

5 comments:

Tutu said...

Well the answer is obvious with your daughter, you just have to treat her like she was a little girl again and make her pay the consequences. Don't but her extra goodies and tell her why. As an adult she should earn her keep to live there. Didn't she have chores as a kid? Same as now and same for the boy.

heather fish said...

I would charge your daughter at least a nominal "rent" charge to help cover extra expenses of having her and her son there... groceries, extra water & electricity. I would also spell out to her exactly what you expect her to do and when... cook dinner on Mon & Wed, vacuum on Friday... whatever! You just can NOT live somewhere and not contribute in some way!

teahouse said...

Yes, I agree with the other commenters! You just have to tell her in a straightforward, no-nonsense way that you expect her to pull her weight around the house, and maybe give her a specific list and ask her nicely to adhere to it. Good luck!

Miss Bliss said...

Some very good suggestions here. I was taught that I should not do for another adult what they can and should do for themselves. A thought.

pat said...

I think I would arrive home with 2 orders of takeout...one for you and the hubs...she might get the point..